Black Friday Trilogy
by justinewhitlock4eva
Summary: ok. Malls Black Friday chaos! Am I right? So what happens when Hetalia decides to take advantage of these oh-so wonderful sales?
1. Chapter 1

**CRACK. hope you find this funny is all imma say.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own hetalia Dx IF I did somethhing like the following would happen ;)**

Adventures of black Friday

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Finland was enjoying the light atmosphere of the mall; it was a very crowded place though. The reason? Black Friday of course! Tino had decided to meet his family, which they basically were, at the food court for lunch. After, they would get a little shopping done, and relax.

Denmark, Norway, Iceland, Sweden & Finland; were all walking down to a large department store. Berwald was walking alongside Tino when he felt him freeze. He looked down at his 'wife' with a questioning gaze. He noticed Tino's cherry face turn into one of horror and anger. It was rare that he was angry.

"Wh't is wr'ng?" Berwald said. The other three had seen the two had stopped walking and turned around and tried to figure out what the problem was. Denmark couldn't keep his mouth shut and started blabbing and said, " Tino! Hurry up I wanna get my picture with Santa clause!"

This finally snapped Finland out of his frozen state, and without another word he began furiously sprinting towards the Santa exhibit. The four men were left standing there in a daze confused as to what was happening. Denmark was the first to react, he thought his friend wanted to go see Santa to…but he'd soon find out that that wasn't the case.

Tino's eyes locked on their target, the fat guy in a red suit, with a white beard. If he timed this just right he'd avoid hurting the children. A little girl wearing a sparkly green dress hopped off his lap and Finland launched himself out of the fake trees surrounding them.

The three men had gotten to the exhibit about ten seconds after Denmark, and sixteen after Tino. The looked across the set to Denmark who looked like somebody had just kicked his puppy. Then towards the crashing at the center of the room.

Berwald, Norway and Ice's faces flushed scarlet with embarrassment. There on the ground was Tino. Beating up the fake Santa. " You stole my job freak! You're not even real! I'm the real Santa and you're just jealous!!" you could probably here Finland's yelling on the other side of the mall.

Every time a person would attempt to pull Finland off of the poor man he would punch or kick them. This led to a cameraman with a broken nose, and three unconscious elves.

Sweden realized what was happening, and raced into the area and grabbed his wife. Tino kept on yelling insults and obscenities. About five minutes after Berwald dragged Tino away the mall cop came over and called the paramedics. "Um, sirs we would ask you to leave but since you seem to be the cause of this were gonna need you to remain and take over these peoples positions" he said in a stiff, authoritive voice. " fine" Norway sighed while glaring at Sweden.

Berwald was given the job of photographer, every child cried when they saw him. Tino, being the one complaining about the Santa was the one to fill that position. Denmark, Norway and Iceland were the elves. So as the commotion died down, many children came to see Santa.

The three elves were forced to change into striped red and white tights and green tunics. " So… Marky, are you happy now? You're the one that wanted to see the big guy and now I have to wear a dress! A freaking dress!" Norway fiercely whispered at Denmark. As luck would have it one of the costumes was for a girl and nor Denmark or Iceland's stature permitted them to be able to fit in it so it left Norway. Denmark had to refrain from smirking, instead he smugly replied,

" Hey! I've offered to bring you to the gym on several occasions but you said no. I guess Feliks isn't the only one who can work chick clothes, Nora". This comment was met with a fist to the face.

"And that's for all those times you said I was a girl! I would of hit harder but didn't want you to faint when you saw the blood." Norway said monotonously.

This led to Denmark getting a nosebleed, but he couldn't leave so he just shoved a tissue up his nose and waited it out. The two boys avoided each other for the rest of the shift. Denmark got assigned to line director while Norway went threw the photos, a job that was to mature for Denmark. Ice had to stick the printed photos into the frames and say goodbye to the guest.

Berwald was thrilled to see his 'wife' so happy. One child he didn't think he'd ever forget. A little girl of about seven walked over to Tino holding her younger brothers hand, which she told him was four. She grabbed her brother and placed him on 'Santa's' lap, then walked over to himself and said " you better make this picture pretty! Momma said that this is going on the Christmas card and my Grammy is in the hospital, and she wants to see her grandbabies not two weird kids!"

The Swede stared at the little girl, the first one to approach him. With a smile. It made him even happier and he released a small smile of his own. He looked at the little girl and nodded. She looked relieved, and skipped back over to Tino and hopped on his other knee.

Sweden made sure the photo came out perfect, "to the T" as some might say. "So what would you like for Christmas?" Tino asked the little girl.

"Umm. Besides for our Grammy to get better, I want a new dress and a dolly." She said sheepishly.

Finland turned to the little boy. "How about you? What would you like?"

The small child looked up and starred at Tino with frosty blue eyes before replying. "I want Grammy all better. And a puppy." The Finn smiled at the young boy and patted his head and told him he try his best.

After about one more hour the mall closed and their shift was over. As all the boys left the changing rooms Norway burst out in crazy laughter. " You okay?" Finland asked.

"I cant believe I was wearing a dress! And we have a picture of us all! That's going in my scrapbook!" they all gave a chuckle at this. And with that the Nordics walked out of the mall. Poor donation Santa never saw it coming.

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**Lol. based off of true expiriances! me and my friend had gone to the mall and we started ranting about how santa wasnt 'Finny' and we planned out how to jump him! (not for real though) tnx for wasting your time to read my wasted time, if that makes any since.... :D **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey. this seriously was writtin on my phone while in Toys R' Us on black friday at 3 am. spent 5 hrs. in line lol. ok well this is a crappy chapter and is mostly crack. not that the last chapter wasnt crack, that i forgot to mention thats not even how the celebrate christmas in the nordic countries. anyways im rambleing. **

**Disclaimer: dont own Prussia, Hetalia, Gilbert, Ipod touch, Bubble wrap. i only own eye liner called prussian.**

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Prussia and Toys R' Us

Prussia followed the other people in what seemed like an aimless line around the store. Through the winding aisles of toys, He had been waiting in line for an hour and forty-five minutes already. He slouched over one of the many boxes in the cart and rested his head against it. He was so tired; it was two forty- six in the morning.

Out of the corner of his eye he caught one of those 'baby on board signs' and noticed a chick. He looked around hesitantly before snatching up the little sign and reading it. It said 'watch out! Chick killer on board' with a image of a chick. Prussia's eyes lit with delight, "I'm buying this," he muttered to himself. And without further ado he tossed it in his cart.

After trudging around for two more hours, he had made it to the check out. The cashier looked surprised at seeing the window sticker then every gaming system and war game known to man on the counter. " Um. Sir is this yours?" Prussia looked away from his Ipod touch, which he was using to pop bubble wrap. " Well of course! Its awesome, like me!"

"Oh. Um, ah, ok." The cashier muttered, confused. Gilbert looked back to his Ipod touch and started another round of bubble wrap. "WHAT!?!?" the Prussian screamed at the electronic device, " Dammit, I lost." He explained to the person next to him. "The awesome me never lost". The poor woman just shook her head, frightened.

"Sir, would that be credit or debit?" Prussia fumbled with his wallet for a moment before producing a credit card with the word "**West**" on it in permanent marker. "Here is my not so awesome credit Card." The cashier rolled her eyes and didn't even bother looking at the identification on the back. If she had she would have noticed it said Ludwig with a blond haired, blue-eyed man. Not silver haired, red eyed obnoxious one named Gilbert.

Prussia whistled as he walked out to his vehicle. As he opened the door, he remembered the sticker. Without any hesitation he dug it out of the bag and slapped it on the back window. The thought never came to him that everyone's laughter was directed at him, not with him.

When he walked into Germanys house the next day, he was approached by Italy. "Ve~ did you have a kid Prussia?" That was when he realized his mistake, but there was NO way in hell he was taking it down. And that was final.

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**a/n: didnt really like it that much. but hey for three in the morning its not to terrible! :)**


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